Friday, September 19, 2008


Do you even care
About the price I pay
The sleepless nights
The tired days

Do you understand
The pain in my heart
Living with the memories
Of the families I tore apart

You point and laugh
When a Soldier cries
I bow my head
For his Soldier who died

It's not for you
That we fight and die
Not for our country
Our flag, or our pride

We fight to free
Those oppressed
We fight for our lives
And we do our best

But this is war
And soldiers die
That doesn't mean we quit
We fight harder, we survive

Until I die
I'll walk with pride
My head held high|
For my brother's who died

So walk away
Bow your head
Show respect
Give thanks to our dead

If it wasn't for them
You wouldn't be free
To do what you want to do
Or be who you want to be

A humbled apology
We're waiting to hear
Be ause of our Soldiers
You have nothing to fear

Monday, August 18, 2008

Nobody but You

That blood has stopped
My cuts have healed
The pain I felt
I no longer feel
Since you became
My lover and wife
I have a reason to live
To continue my life
A husband and father
A daughter and wife
I finally found my place
And the happiness in life
Without you two
I don't know where I'd be
Plastered with friends
Or dead on the streets
You saved my life
Te first time we kissed
Never had I felt
Such neverending bliss
The day we met
You changed my life
Since then I've been longing
For you to be my wife
The happiness I feel
You'd never understand
I can't explain it
So I just kiss your hand
One day you'll understand
Why my love is true
Why I have eyes for nobody
Nobody but you

Friday, August 8, 2008

I Don't Undertand

You don’t understand
Why I cry at night
Or why I’m afraid
When you turn down the light

The pain I’d feel
Every night
When he came home drunk
Wanting to fight

Baby, I love you
And you’re here with me
I’d never hurt you
You’re safe as can be

You don’t understand
It was all my fault
I came home early
Around three o’clock

When I shouldn’t be home
I caught him cheating
I told the Doctor I fell
I denied the beating

That’s no excuse
To hit your wife
I understand you were scared
Fighting for your life

You don’t understand
I didn’t wanna stay
It’s all my fault
I didn’t walk away

I lied to the Police
They took him anyway
He broke my arm,
And came back the next day

You can’t continue
Blaming yourself
You’re safe with me
You’re no longer in hell

I don’t understand
Why you love me so
Why you hold me tight
Without letting go

Because I love you
And that’s what you deserve
A man to be there for you
Not one you have to serve

A man to be your husband
And love you ‘til the end
Keeping you safe
And being your very best friend

Sunday, August 3, 2008


You were always there
Through good times and bad
I'll always remember
The good times we had

From walking across the yard
You holding my hand
To building a birdhouse
or planting seeds in the land

You took me in
Accepted me as your own
Gave me safety,
And a loving home

Sneaking off to find you
At such a young age
Time has flown to fast
I'm not ready to turn the page

I'm laying here writing
Choking back tears
Thinking about you leaving
Trying to calm the fears

I know I never told you
Although I knew I should
I hoped it wouldn't come to this
But I always knew it would

I need to see you
Before you go
I need to tell you that I love you
Because I don't think that you know

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Rule of Engagement

I am a United States Army Combat Veteran. I have lived through war. I have lived through child abuse, to the point that moost of the bones in my body had been broken. I have seen hell, and and to be completely honest, I'd rather be there than where I'm at right now.
Back then, I knew where the bullets were coming from. I knew who I could trust, and who had my back. Right now, I'm all alone, in my own little combat zone. I am living in the same house with the enemy, watching various "crimes of war" on a daily basis. The Rules of Engagement have been layed out, and they're simply understood, I may not fire, even when fired upon.

I have been fired upon, and I sit here, taking it all in, allowing everything to build up until I am unable to take it anymore. Without any other way for me to get this anger and frusteration out of my system, it's gonna be way more of a bang when I finally can't take it and shoot back.
With all this pressure being built up inside me, it will be more like and atomic bomb going off, and right now I'm just waiting to find out who the casualities of war will be. When I start "shooting" off my mouth, heads will turn, and people will fall. My words will hit the intended target with the desired consquences.
If you want to try to mess with my family, I'm going to rip yours apart. For those of you who know me, everything is okay, I need no help. If it comes down to it, I will notify the proper state authorities about what I have seen. Myself, or my family will not be disrespect, I care not whos house I am in.
I leave you with a message of sort.
Blessed are the valiant, for they shall obtain great treasure
-Cursed are the believers in good and evil, for they are
frightened by shadows!

Friday, June 13, 2008


Suicide...alot of people have told me that to commit suicide is the "easy way out", a way that only the weak are "stupid" enough to do. I disagree...I think it takes alot of balls to commit suicide.
Think about it like know that your life is shit. You know better than anybody how many lives you have completely turned upside down. Nobody else has to live with the hurt, and the pain that the "suicidal" person has to. Nobody else knows everything that the "suicidal" person has been through that makes him act the way he does.
Constant dissapointment from everybody around him. Always having to change who he is to make everybody else around him feel comfortable. Not knowing who he is anymore, who are you to judge him becuase of a choice he may or may not decide to do.
I think the hardest choice we have as humans everyday is, do we want to live to see another day. Is today the day that I choose to give my life away? It takes a strong mind, and even stronger heart to know that the world would be better off without you.
Say what you want about this blog because, like I said, you have no idea what anybody else in this world has seen, done, or been through. You can live your perfect little lives, but remember that anything can happen, and you can't always deal with what you are forced to see, do, or go through.
"If you understand, you don't have to ask. If you have to ask, you'll never understand."

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


The blood is dripping
From my lonely heart
Everything I love
Is falling apart

What's the use
Of breaking free
If I caused my loved ones
So much misery

Would I be miss
If I walked away
With the pain I've caused
I couldn't say

You are my life
My very breath
Without you here
I shall fear not death

I'm walking alone
Down this lonely aisle
Focusing on what's ahead
Walking towards Satan's smile

Knowing what I've done
The lives I've shattered
Leaves me feeling nothing
But beaten and battered

Can I be saved
From the hell I've caused
If I told you that I love you
Would you smile, and pause

Will you be my angel
Sent from above
Picking me up
Like a little white dove

Through thick and thin
Would you be in my life
Through good times and bad
Would you be my wife

Would you stand next to me
Until the end
Will you be my wife
And my best friend

I love you so much
Trinity to
I want to be with you both
And forever be true

Give us a chance
To get on our feet
If you don't love me then
I'll accept defeat

I'll pack my stuff
And leave you alone
Follow a new path
And make a new home

No matter the outcome
I'll love you both
If you ever need anything
You can always come home

I'll be waiting there
In the dark alone
For my family
To come back home...

Sunday, June 1, 2008

My Family

I have never been one to go out to bars to pick up women, or even go out on dates. I don't really like the club scene, and most women my age are to immature for my taste. Knowing my feelings about meeting women at bars or clubs, you should know how I feel about online dating…not my thing. My mother on the other hand has met a few people on internet dating sites, and a few others, so it wasn't really a surprise when she made the suggestion that I check it out.

After a few weeks of my mom suggesting that I go meet a girl online, I decided to humor her, and give it a shot. Now, I wasn't really expecting to meet anybody, and to be completely honest, I didn't really want to meet anybody. Come to thinmk of it, I specifically put on the website that I only wanting friendship, and nothing more from the website. I didn't really check the site to often, although whenj I did I usually had a few messages, a couple of them I still talk to today, but for the initial reason of friendship.

It had been a few weeks since I had last checked my account, and when I went online I had a few messages waiting from different people, one of which had a picture of a young blonde woman, and her beautiful little girl. Her name was Desiree, and she was messaging me? She told me that she was a Soldier in the United States Army, and was stationed at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. After a few messages, we exchanged telephone numbers, and everyday on my way to work we'd talk until I had to go in to my job.

At one point she had asked if I would be willing to help her move some things from her vehicle into her apartment. Now, I'm the kind of guy who is willing to help most people with most things, so I went ahead and told her that I would meet her in Kentucky, whenever she wanted to be there. The next day I went to work, I put in for vacation beginning on October 16, 2007, which was a Wednesday…and a payday.

I had got off work at 0600 Wednesday, October the 15, 2007, only to go home and pack a few outfits for my trip down to meet Desiree in Kentucky. I lef the house around 1800 that same day on my way to Oak Grove, Kentucky to meet with the girl who contacted me online. My only stop between home, and Desiree was a Caesars Casino for a Texas Hold'em tournament with my Emergency Squad for one last night out.

I arrived in Oak Grove, Kentucky around 0500 on the 16thof October, for the beginning of a very long day in a new place. I spent some time at the local Wal-Mart sleeping a little in my car after being awake for just over two days, and driving down. Throughout the day I get motivational phone calls from Desiree, informing me of how much fun shes having driving through the storms and tornados on he way to Fort Campbell.

Around 1900, on the 16thI receive another call from Desiree telling me that she is close, and to watch out for her. As I sit in my car, a little white jeep drives by, and I get my first real look at her. Here I am in my purple Emergency Squad Physical Training pants, with no shirt on to meet somebody for the first time. Most people wouldn't be able to pull it off, but for me…it was nothing.

I waited on Desiree to park, then I got out of my car and walked over to her Jeep only to find a beautiful young woman dressed in a Military Combat Uniform. After following her to her new apartment, and getting her household items moved in, we sat on the couch, ordered Papa John's Pizza, and watched DVDs on her computer, as we began to get to know each other.

By this time, I had already began to have feelings for Desiree from just the telephone conversations, after meeting her in person though, they were stronger than ever. After about a month, I was introduced Desiree's mother, father, and the most important, her daughter, Trinity Lee. I knew immediately where I wanted to be from that point on…right there with the two most important women in my life, Desiree and Trinity.

It only took a couple months for me to really get hooked, it was the day Trinity first called me her "daddy". I'd never been called "daddy", so at first it was a little uncomfortable, but after a little bit I began to accept it, and try to do my best to act like it. When it comes to being a little girl's "daddy", everyday is a new challenge, and I'm lucky I have Desiree to keep me from doing anything to stupid.

Right now I'm sitting here in Indiana with Desiree, missing my little girl who is visiting her Grandmother for a few weeks before she comes back home to us. We just moved back up here to Indiana, and are currently staying with my family for the time being until we can get enough money saved up to move into our own apartment. Hopefully, with the next few weeks we will be able to move, and begin the next phase of our lives together.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Military Cover-Ups

To Whom it May Concern,
The United States Government is well known for covering things up for the safety and security of this great nation, but what happens when our government begins hiding other things? Illegal things, like rapes, murders, and various other crimes committed by those under government payroll.
I have inside information on the outbreak of rapes and assaults happening on our United States Military Installations. Would you allow your daughter to enlist into the military if you knew how frequent rape and assaults occur on a daily basis? At Fort Campbell alone, on the night of April 4th, 2008, there were at least five reported rapes, and that was just the ones Fort Campbell Sexual Response Advocate Christina Lopez handled. There's no telling how many the other Advocates handled that day.
How did I get this information you ask; from Mrs. Lopez herself while sitting at Blanchfield Army Community Hospital at Fort Campbell, Kentucky the night my friend was viscously raped but a fellow Soldier in her unit. The last time I have seen a sexual assault reported by the Government, it was too late, the Marine had already been killed. That is how the Government handles things like this, they keep everything under wraps until somebody comes up missing, than they do whatever they can to discredit the victim.
I took a vow the night my friends rape happened to not let this happen to her. I am a former United States Soldier, and as I Soldier it was my duty to stand up for the citizens of this country no matter what the adversity. As I Soldier I noticed that no matter how much I stood up, the citizens of this country continued to live their lives oblivious to what me, and my fellow Soldiers were fighting for.
Now a civilian, I have made it my duty to fight for our Soldiers rights in any way that I can to get my voice heard and our Soldiers helped. Like I said before, my friend was raped by a Soldier in her platoon, a Soldier who she was supposed to be able to trust with her life in a combat zone. Obviously, she couldn't trust him as she should have been able to . My friend's Chain of Command, from lowest Sgt, all the way up to the Fort Campbell Commanding General decided that this is a case that does not need to be made public. It will negatively affect the enlistment rate for future Soldiers.
What does the Fort Campbell Commanding General do to combat the sexual assaults you ask? He decided to lift the ban on sex in Afghanistan!!!!! A few months ago, if you were caught in any type of sexual act while deployed, you were subject to the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), now if you want to rape somebody, the prosecution must show that without a shadow of a doubt that it was NOT consensual...which according to military law, and the Criminal Intelligence Division, is pretty much impossible. According the CID at Fort Campbell, Rape is nothing more than he said-she said.
Basically, the government is telling it's Soldiers that the sexual gratification of it's male soldier's is more important that the safety and security of their female Soldiers. I don't understand how the government can condone rape, but then again, I guess the was they look at it, they need the Soldier because we're at war...whatever.
Government cover-ups...the Iraqi Kill teams. Since when is picking up a camera considered and act of aggression? Since when is picking up a piece of candy an act of aggression? Our Soldiers are sitting in a position watching a camera, and whenever a local national gets close to it with intent to pick it up, they are allowed to shoot them. When they get bored from that, they then decide to throw candy out and shoot the innocent children as they run up to pick up the candy. Is that how our government wants to win the war' by killing innocent children?
James Burmeister, a 23-year old kid from Eugene, Oregon, who enlisted with hopes of helping people who need it. He did not expect to be sitting there on a "kill team" waiting on somebody to kill for no other reasons than picking up an item that both you and I would pick up if we seen it just lying around. Right now, Private First Class Burmeister is still at Fort Knox, Kentucky awaiting whatever the Government wants to do to him. Why? Because he refused to sit back and watch his platoon mates kill innocent children for fun. After telling his platoon that he was going to tell somebody what was going on, they had threatened his life. In his mind, and with a family to take care of, he had no other choice but to go Absent Without Leave (AWOL).
Why is he sitting at Fort Knox still? I think it's because the United States Military does not want to look bad. The prisoner abuse scandal in both Iraq, and Afghanistan, the Pat Tillman incident, the rapes, and the murdering of innocent children...everything that's happened they have done their best to cover up. Let's look at it like this;
Prisoner abuse scandal was being covered up until the pictures came out, and then they had no choice but to stop covering it up. The Pat Tillman fratricide was being covered up until somebody began looking at the facts and noticed a few misleading statements. A lone Private First Class still sits awaiting the outcome of his case while the murders of the innocent children remain unpunished. Innocent children and women, who are victims of rape and molestations are stuck with no help from the military authorities, whom the government sides with any ways just to shut them up.
We cannot allow our Government to walk all over us the way they have been doing. If you expect our Soldier's to fight for you rights, then they need somebody to fight for theirs. We have men dying over seas, it shouldn't be for nothing. Help them fight for us, by fighting for them.
Jeffrey Rodgers

Thursday, March 27, 2008

News Paper Article

Comments should have been given more thought


March 25, 2008

Sometimes it’s the educators who need a lesson, and the remarks of a Franklin school board member about a student are one of those moments.

At a meeting March 10, Doug Bullington questioned a high school student’s aptitude and motivation for not participating in the daily Pledge of Allegiance and moment of silence last month.

Bullington said he hoped the student, who filed a lawsuit against the school corporation for being punished wrongfully for not standing during a moment of silence and pledge before school, was too lazy or stupid to participate rather than have that much contempt for his country.

He said that among numerous reasons for not participating in a moment of silence or the pledge, the three reasons he could think of were that the student disliked America, was lazy or was stupid.

He said he agreed that it was the student’s right to sit during a moment of silence and the pledge but questioned his motive.

"What I’m speculating isn’t the reason. I’m not saying this is why he did it. I’m saying this came to mind. It’s possible that he truly had that much distaste for this country that he chose not to stand and say the Pledge of Allegiance. It is possible it was just too much effort for him to get out of the chair and stand. It’s possible that he was mentally challenged too much to be able to recite the words," Bullington said.

"I have no idea why he did it. These are just some things. There were probably other excuses or reasons you could come up with why he chose to do this. But as I look at it, the three things I came up with were he truly hates this country, he’s lazy or he’s stupid. From my standpoint, I hope it’s one of the latter two."

Bullington said someone hating his or her country is worse than the other two options, which can be overcome.

"The whole point of it was to point out that this can be interpreted a lot of different ways on why he does this, and the majority of them are going to be negative," he said.

It’s not just the student’s action that can be interpreted in different ways. Bullington’s remarks could be, too.

Aside from misunderstanding the legal and constitutional issues involved, his comments were insensitive.

It’s difficult in a public meeting for officials always to think through what they say, but they need to. The visibility of their positions gives weight to comments.

Later in the meeting, Bullington said he was just playing devil’s advocate. He said the situation should have been a non-issue.

"I guess the real moral of the story is that students today need to be aware that actions do have consequences and to always be aware of the possible consequences that you face, whether it’s engaging in unprotected intercourse or whether it’s making a protest of a national policy," he said.

All we can say is that it cuts both ways.

Bullington should have been aware of the power of his comments and spoken with more restraint.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Newspaper Post

Back in my home town of Franklin, know those small towns where not too much exiting happens? Well, a few days ago I was reading the local newspaper,www.thejournalnet.comand I seen an interesting story on the front page.
The story was about a young student at my old highschool who refused to stand up for the Pledge of Alligience. Now, I know that alot of you patriotic American out there may not agree with the actions of that young man, whoch is why it made the front page of our local newspaper. When I can find the article, I’ll post it here for all to see.
Well, I couldn’t help myself, I was compelled to write into the same newspaper, and let my opinion got about the whole situation. So, here, for all to see is the letter that I sent to my hometown newspaper. Let me know what you think, good or bad.

Soldier fought for student’s right to sit during pledge

To the editor:
First, I would like to say that I have a great deal of respect for Dr. Doug Bullington, as I have known him for a long time. He had been my family doctor up until I enlisted into the U.S. Army.

Although I have a great deal of respect for him, I do have one issue with the comment he made about the young Franklin student who refused to stand up during the Pledge of Allegiance.

How can we, as adults, condemn a student for having an opinion?

Isn’t that what we are trying to teach our young people, to stand up for what they believe in?

I am a veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom. I fought for that flag that the young adult refused to stand up and pledge his allegiance to. In all honesty, by him not standing up in pledge of the flag, he taught everybody a lesson about my job as a soldier.

We fight these wars so people can be free and have their own opinion about what is going on. By sitting down, that student stood up. That is why we fight, so young men and women do not have to live with disrespect because they may not agree with the majority.

While everybody else is on this young man’s case, I want him and everybody else who believes the same as he does to know that I, as an American soldier, say thank you for showing me that I have done my job well.
Jeffrey A. Rodgers

Clarksville, Tenn., formerly of Franklin