Tuesday, January 5, 2010


"Mother is the name for God on the lips, and hearts of all children" ~~The Crow; Brandon Lee"

"In the beginning when God created* the heavens and the earth, 2the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God* swept over the face of the waters. 3Then God said, ‘Let there be light’; and there was light. 4And God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness.5God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day."

Anybody who knows me knows that I do not believe in "God", however, I do believe in the way people make me feel. Above two quotes, one from one of my favorite movies, the other from the Bible. As I said, I believe in the way I feel, not how a book "translated" on the biased opinion of William Tyndale says I should think or believe.

Where am I going with this?
Three years ago, I was a "formless void", and "darkness covered" all aspects of my life. Then, I met Desiree', and Trinity...when I met them, I felt the darkness lift, and I followed the light to my eventual happiness...I stumbled, and fell along the way, but after her forgivness, I picked myself up, and continued down my path to happiness. For the first time, I could see between the dark, and the light within myself, and I followed the light...I became a "daddy", and I loved the woman with whom I had called my wife, as I still do.

As I said before, I don't believe in "God", or the bible, but I do believe in the way I feel, and I feel as if what that first passage in that book says is true, but it's not some unseen deity, it's the love of another. I think that the bible is nothing more than a "Self-Help" book designed to show us what we don't already know about ourselves, or the people around us. It's not a struggle between "God", and "Lucifer", it's about the struggle we all fight within ourselves.

You can denounce what I believe if you wish, but before you do, just think about your life, and how it correlates with the Bible...You pray at night to your "God", whomever that may be, because it makes you feel like you can do, what you previously thought you could not, it gives you the confidence to try. It gives you the hope that maybe, by "the grace of God", something will happen that will make you feel like you've accomplished something in life, be it for your own personal gain, or for the safety of our Soldiers fighting overseas. You feel good, because you're actually taking the time to think about somebody, when they may not have anybody else.

Me, I'm feel as if I am slipping back into the "darkness", and without my "light", I will have no sight. I am lost, as I can no longer see the future as bright as I had. As the days pass, the "light" seems to get further behind me, yet I keep walking forward trying to find my way out, but only getting deeper into the pit of dispair. It's still not clear when the clouds will open up, but I'm hoping sooner more than later, as I have seen the end of the darkness, and it isn't a pretty sight. I have felt the never ending emotional roller coaster that is "rock bottom", and my "savior" is almost 900 miles away...close by comparison, but further when it comes to emotions...

Mother is the name for God on the lips, and hearts of all children"

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