Friday, January 8, 2010


You has been an odd day, for some reason I'm as bad as I have been over the past week...but I have had a few misplaced wishes to day that got to me pretty bad. First off, at the VA today, I went up to make an appointment with my Psychologist, and while I was up there she finally gave me the packet that they had been out of for a few months now for a couples retreat that Desiree' and I had talked about going on together. It's kinda late for that though, isn't it...I tried to tell her that I didn't need it anymore, without giving the reason why, but she insisted telling me that after our last session, she knows that Desiree' and I really need it before something bad happens between us...again, too late, right?!
Soon after leaving the VA, I was driving down Meridian, on my way home when the song "Moment", by Emerson Drive came on...every time I hear that song, I have to fight back the tears, but over the past couple months I haven't been able to fight them too well for anything, so why would I expect to while driving.
"I've had my moments, days in the sunMoments I was second to noneMoments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't doLike the day I walked away from the wineFor a woman who became my wifeAnd a love that, when it was right,Could always see me throughLookin' at me now you might not know itBut I've had my moments"
~~Emerson Drive~~ "Moments"
The most fucked up thing happened when I got the mail out of the mailbox...because I am a Disabled Veteran, and a member of the Disabled American Veteran Organization, each month I get a magazine from the D.A.V. Well, this months issues has wounded Veteran going through a Physical Therapy appointment, but his shirt, in big black letters, says "TRINITY"...everywhere I turn, I see them...and it hurts more and more each time...but for some reason, I makes me feel closer to them somehow...I really do not know how to explain it...

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