Sunday, January 3, 2010


Being here alone brings back so many memories that I wish I could forget, I have tried to drink them away, but they won't leave me alone. I'm waking up, hoping to feel her there, so I know that I am home, but she's I home, or am I in a place so far away? Am I safe, or will my life, they take away? I would wake up to the bullets flying, or the soldier's crying out in pain, only to reach over and hold her, and feel the warmth of her body against mine, and I knew that I was safe. I knew that everything was just a dream...Now, I can't even drink away the memories, or stop the tears from flowing. I want to be me again, but I know that can never be. I want to be who I was before, and then maybe she would think I was a good daddy to our baby, or even a good husband for herself. Maybe then I wouldn't be sitting in this chair, alone with this bottle in my hand looking for some peace...sometimes, I'm proud to be a veteran, but during times like this, I hate the fact that I am one...I hate the fact that I was changed so much that I can't even keep my family together...I used to be happy...but how can you see hope, and happiness when all you see is the scars of war when you close your eyes?

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